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What the What?

About The Afternoon Tee Co.

In 2001, with nothing more than an idea and a hangover I made a t-shirt and gave it to a friend. He liked it and bought me a beer. I created more t-shirts and gave them to more friends. I was without thirst. Life was good. But I ran out of friends.

And then I made a new friend. His name was the Interweb. He was created by Al Gore so the world could download pornography. But I realized this new technology was so much more than that. We could also steal music and gamble. Several years later somebody told me to put my t-shirts on this Interweb. That was the dumbest thing I ever heard. A few years later somebody else told me to do the same thing. Now that got me thinking.

In 2005 I got around to building this website. I called it Jerkass, because why not?

The years ticked by. Inexplicably, people seemed to like my t-shirts and my hobby became a business. Unfortunately during this same time our society grew to be absurdly sensitive. Media outlets would dare not utter the word Jerkass. Facebook and Google shunned me and refused to take my advertising dollars. And no self-respecting retail establishment would ever offer for sale a garment with a name so vulgar and distasteful.

I found myself at a crossroads. I’ve always loved the Jerkass name. It’s very dumb and has sentimental value (thanks Luke!). But I also love money because money allows me to buy wonderful things like beer and gasoline and meat.

So after almost 10 years of flying the Jerkass flag, I decided to make the change and conform to society’s imposition. All I needed was a new name that didn’t make children cry and mothers blush. Easy enough right? Well no, not for me. Apparently everything I like is vulgar or distasteful. I struggled for months, inventing and rejecting one terrible name after another.

And then one sunny Sunday afternoon I awoke with a revelation: Nothing worth doing ever happens before 12pm. Nothing, ever. Think about it… Packer games, happy hours, Cinemax movies, BBQs, concerts, booze cruises, tailgates, fist fights, fish fries. Oh shit I was on to something. My new name must identify with staying up late and sleeping until the crack of noon. Something that is not offensive. Hmm… afternoon… afternoon tea… tea… tee… yes! Fabulous.

Afternoon tea… what an unbelievably unoffensive affair. Who could possibly be offended by a fucking Afternoon “Tee” party? Bunting biscuits, fondant fancies, dainty doilies. It’s perfect. The Afternoon Tee Co.™ was born.

Jerkass, we fondly bid you adieu. It’s time to get classy up in here.

Thank you all, as always, for your support. And the Bears still suck. Never forget.
Richard Lorbach
Richard Lorbach
Owner / Designer / Jerkass / Teebagger